It is a rough-and-tumble spectacle that makes rugby look like tea party.

So it is odd that AFL teams Down Under are in the midst of a row over team sponsorships.

Apparently one team threatened to boycott a pre-season match because its sponsor competes in the market against its opponent’s backer. It demanded that any signage for the offending opposing sponsor be removed from the stadium or the match would not be contested.

And (to bring in the tire tie-in), the league has threatened to sue one of its teams over its sponsorship deal with Hankook Tire. And why would that be, you ask? Because the team apparently failed to check to see if league-wide sponsor Quantas Airlines used Hankook products!

Just because these quotes are just so damn wonderful, here is what one of the team managers had to say about the situation: "When Qantas found out Melbourne had signed Hankook tires, well, they were really cross and got straight on the blower to Andy. You see, Qantas don’t use Hankook. Andy then got really cross and he was straight on the blower to Ed. Well, Ed was absolutely filthy and chucked one of his ‘don’t-mess-with-me’ tantrums because Emirates don’t use Hankook tires either.”

Now aren’t you glad we only have to deal with the likes of Terrell Owens?

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– Jim Smith